Fallen
by Iron Mouse
Summary: Takes place during the series. Smiling faces don't tell the truth. There is story behind every one of them. No actual couples just angst


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**Fallen**  
**By **_**Kimi (Ironmouse)**_  
  
_Maybe we'll fly tonight... I just wanna love you baby._..  
~_Like I love you_ by Justin Timberlake  
  
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**_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Ayashi no Ceres, it's own by Yuu Watase; However, I would like to own Yuuhi._**  
  
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**_Author's Notes:_** This takes place a little bit before they go to Shizuoka, to help find Tooya memory, and they end up meeting Miori and most of us all know what happen after. Not pretty.  
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_And you know I don't mean to hurt you_  
_But you know that it means so much_  
_And you don't even feel a thing_  
  
_I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,_  
_Help me to breathe_  
_I am hurting, I have lost it all_  
_I am losing_  
_Help me to breathe_

_~Duvet _by bôa

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_It's been three months since I been living with the Aogiri family. _  
_Three months since I left my brother behind. _  
_Three months since I met Yuuhi, Aya, Mrs. Q, and Suzumi. _  
_It has only been two months since my confrontation with Suzumi. _  


_It's part of who I am, why can't she accept that. _  
_**WHY DO I HAVE BE THE NAIVE ONE.**_  
_Is it because I look like a child. _  
_That I can't do this. _  
_That I can't find a way to escape. _  
_That I can't be like Aya and weep and mourn my way to sanity. _  
_I can't initially deal with the way god has plan my fucked up life. _  
_I can't smile my way through this obstacle. _  
  


_I sorry mom, dad, Shouta. _  
_I'm not strong enough. _  
_I'm weak. _  
_I'm..._  
_**Sick. **_

"Chidori, time to eat," Mrs. Q yelled breaking my thoughts completely.  


_I just didn't care anymore. I don't care what they think of me, especially Suzumi. _  


I pressed the blade of the knife into my skin feeling instant gratification from what I have done.   


_Dad, Mom would you still fill as proud if you seen your perfect little girl now. _  


I watched the blood rise from my skin and droplet falling on to the floor. I cut my arm again.   


_Suzumi , would you like to see this tennyo lose more blood to the ground._  


"Chidori," Suzumi yelled at me from behind as I let the knife slipped from hands to my bed.   


I grabbed a shirt on my bed and held it against my arm.  


"Please leave," I said with no emotion in my voice.  


I stared at the wall and turn off the stereo with my other hand.   


She stared at me as she said, " What should I tell them today?"  


I whipped around and stared at her.   


"You don't understand, I AM NOT EVERYONE LITTLE FUCKING NAIVE GIRL," I screamed at her, bringing attention to myself through out the house.  


I lye on the bed looking up at her. She took the knife off the bed and walk out of the room leaving me to only stare at the now closed door.  


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"Is she ok," Yuuhi walked up to Suzumi.   


It was after dinner and he decided to take some food to her. Since she loved his food, but she stop him shaking her head.  


"She is sick, we wouldn't want you to catch a virus before going to Shizuoka. Who will protect Aya? I'll take it to her. You need to go get packed up," Suzumi said.  


"I guess you're right," Yuuhi handed her the tray and headed back to his room.  


Suzumi walked back into the room. She stared at the Chidori who had a glassed looked over her eyes causing her to look at the broken mirror that was stained in blood.  


**HER BLOOD.**  


The tray slipped from her hands and fell to the ground.   


She grabbed the girl and wrapped her in a cloth carrying her body to the car, driving her to nearest hospital.  


Yuuhi, Aya, and Mrs. Q later joined Suzumi in the waiting room. She told them that Chidori fell and ran accidently into the mirror. However, Suzumi knew better, Chidori had broken the mirror herself and used it as a weapon against herself. An hour later, a doctor walked up to Suzumi. She nodded her head and followed him leaving the rest in the waiting room.  
  
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I watched Suzumi enter my room through the refection of the window. I thought about breaking it, but Suzumi made sure to tell the doctor to strap my hands down.  


"Why couldn't you just let me die," I asked her.  


"Like I told Aya, I can not let any of my kind die," She told me, but I was offended by the remark.   


_Her kind what kind of shit was that. I didn't want this. I just wanted my old life back before my parents died. _  


Is this what it's about, what I am, your kind, A TENNYO," I began to yell.  


"Besides, I don't think Yuuhi would like it, if you died."  


_That was a low blow, Suzumi_  


"I know damn well that, he wouldn't like me now," I said as she said nothing.  


"Why don't you tell him I cut my arms every night. Why don't you tell him I feel free from cutting and causing harm to myself. Why don't you tell him I like to watched the blood rise from arms. Why don't you tell him about the scars you see on my body. Why don't you tell him why you tell them I am ill," I took a breath before continuing.   


"I don't disagree, I believe myself, I am sick, I am ill," I chuckle at myself.  


"Or better yet, Why don't you tell them him the fucking reason why we ARE HERE."  


"Chidori, Stop," Aya's voice stop me from finishing.  


I turned my head from the window to Aya and Yuuhi, who was behind her. His hair covered his eyes as I notice his knuckles turning white.  


"Yuuhi, you shouldn't be here," Suzumi said.  


He raised his head up and stared at me as I watched him mouth 'Why.'   


I was speechless.   


He turned and walked out of the room.   


"I never thought," Aya spoke up again.  


"Please, don't," I pleaded   


"Why would you even," She followed Yuuhi, leaving me with Suzumi again.  


I just stared at the door, she just wouldn't understand.  


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When I got back to the Aogiri's house. Suzumi decided to keep a tight watched on me. Two weeks past since the hospital incident and Yuuhi, Aya, and Mrs. Q came back from Shizuoka. Yuuhi had told me that Tooya had found his lost love, Miori Sahara. The news devastated Aya causing her to came back with her hair chop up above her shoulders. She stayed in her room crying until one day it all stop.  


I walked in her room to find Aya laying on the bed. She was still alive.   


I stood above her tall slender body.  


"I never thought," I said.  


"I understand now," she told me as I notice the knife next to her arm.   


I picked it up and threw it in the trash.  


_Before I felt like I was bird trapped in a cage only to get out, but only to be caught again. But now for once in my life I felt free. _   


-fin

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**_Author's Notes:_** This is a sensitive topic, and I am not trying to promote self mutilation or suicide. If you know that a friend is causing harm to themselves or others. Please tell a someone and get them help before it gets worse.  
  
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IM: Whoa... I can't believe I wrote this at all. B/C blood makes me sick and reading about it makes me faint. I'm serious.  
Anyways I plan to have the next chapter to Pain is Love by the end of the month. I hope.

Shameless plug: Visit** Like I Love You**: _An Ayashi no Ceres Fanfiction Site_

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